because American self-help doesn't apply to the particularity that is the third world Pinay. and this is the most anti-woman list i've seen in these shores in a long long time. responding to it one-by-one if only so no Pinay thinks that there are no options. and because it has to be good that we begin 2012 by learning to think for ourselves.
American self-help says one stupid thing women do is:
1. Having wrong ideas about courtship? Welcome to the Philippines, where good ol’panliligaw is consistent – even when reconfigured – ritual, but which also allows kilig and magic to be had. It is kilig that carries us through the courtship, one that in these shores has its own set of rules and guidelines, its own steps towards the final decision to becoming an official couple. There is no “dating” so many men before deciding on one. In fact, where we come from the signals are clear: if we’re not interested in a guy, courtship doesn’t even happen. If I’m interested in you, then the ritual begins. There’s nothing desperate about it at all, and in fact it’s this time of kilig and ligaw that all the power is in the Pinay’s hands. And inappropriate men? Boo. Where we come from even a stretch of a courtship and seven years of a relationship can mean exactly that. Such is the nature of kilig that fizzles out. There’s no American self-help explanation for a word that doesn’t translate into English, yes?